As we all know by now, Rocket Laser Arm had a career night last Thursday against the Baltimore Ravens. Were you one of the many victims who went up against a team that has Manning? I was. Manning is Mr. Hindsman's starting quarterback. Rocket Laser Arm had 462 yards and 7 touchdowns in a Madden-like game. He scored a whopping 60 points for Mr. Hindsman. How many of your players are you expecting to score 60 points for you? Better yet, how do you come back from a 60 point deficit put up by one player? In Roughing the Picker, Rocket Laser Arm got my boy Victor 105 points. How is Chilli supposed to come back from that?
Besides Rocket Laser Arm proving that he's Rocket Laser Arm, I made a few crucial mistakes trying to outsmart Mr. Hindsman. Mr. Hindsman likes to play quarterbacks at the Offensive Player position. Basically he had three quarterbacks playing against me. I tried to counter this by starting Brandon Weeden, and now that the disaster is done, I'm kicking myself. Somewhere during the draft season, I was convinced that Weeden would get his rep up this year with Norv Turner being the new Offensive Coordinator. Weeden got me an embarrassing -5 points. Meanwhile on my bench, Sam Bradford, a quarterback that I traded for before the season started, had 299 yards with two touchdowns and scored 25 points. My dumb ass had him on the bench, instead of in the second Offensive Player position where I had Eric Decker. Decker was probably the only receiver who didn't take advantage of Rocket Laser Arm. He had only two catches for 39 yards with a few drops, including a drop for a touchdown. I could've started Jordy Nelson instead of Decker, who score 22 points on the bench.
There were some bright spots on my team. Adrian Peterson proved himself worthy of the number one pick racking up 93 rushing yards, 2 rushing touchdowns, 18 receiving yards and 1 receiving touchdown scoring 34 points. A.J. Green also chipped in with 162 receiving yards and two touchdowns scoring 35 points. Clearly, Green is coming for the number one spot when it comes to wide receivers.
Unfortunately, AP and Green's efforts were not enough to take out Mr. Hindsman as there were some not so bright spots on my squad. I wasn't comfortable with starting Ahmad Bradshaw because he's been injured the whole offseason. Bradshaw proved me right having 7 carries for 26 yards. He only got 2 points. I really don't have a viable option at running back on my bench, so this week I'm going to see what I can do through free agency or trades to fix that problem. I'm pretty sure Bradshaw is going to be cool once he is 100%, but right now I can't afford to have him holding down my team. Cam Newton also under performed throwing for 125 yards and one touchdown. Newton also rushed for 157 yards and two touchdowns which made up the difference, but he could've been very much more productive.
Lastly, I screwed up my TE position. I ended up benching Martellus Bennett for Zach Sudfield. That was a huge mistake as Sudfield only had the ball thrown to him once. They're saying now that he pulled a hammy, but I don't care about that. Meanwhile, Bennett was a good fantasy tight end scoring 10 points. But I had him on my bench. Now I have to decide if I'm going ride with Bennett and drop Sudfield, or do I have enough confidence in Bill Belichick to straighten out Sudfield.
To be honest, its always difficult to predict who's going to do what on Week 1. But I wanted this one bad. I talked a lot of shit to Mr. Hindsman and I lost. I might end up getting rewarded the Shittah, which is a league trophy handed out to players who lose by 100 points or more. Right now I'm down by 65 with no players left while Mr. Hindsman has Santana Moss and Michael Vick playing tonight. Well played Mr. Hindsman, but don't go popping bottles just yet. This is only the beginning. You may have won the battle, but the war is far from over... #DonStatus
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